It always happens that I do most of the things for my son and keep thinking when he learns to do those on his own. As parents, we think our kids are small, or they are not able to do things properly. We want them to be independent, but on the other hand, we only make them handicap.
My son, being a picky eater, always avoids eating veggies. So it’s me who feeds him daily thinking I can put some veggies in his mouth somehow.
But this has made him dependent on me. Nowadays he is not interested in having food with his own hands unless it’s junk food. Sometimes I think that as we help them, we make them more dependent on us. We send an indirect message to them saying they don’t have the ability to do that work.
There are various techniques and strategies which can help us groom our kid to be independent.
Pampering is good when our kids are babies. But to make our kids independent, we need to assign them some responsibilities. We have to set them free. First, we need to understand that their kids have grown up, and they don’t need our help to get themselves ready or to feed them. Let them learn to take care of themselves and know what all they need to be healthy and hygienic.
“You are not a baby anymore.”
Let them know that they have grown up and that they are not a baby anymore. If they ask your help for doing their work, explain them how to do it, and also let them know that next time they have to do it on their own. Ask them for sorry and let them know that they have grown up and not a baby anymore, and this is the reason why they should learn to do their work on their own.
Don’t expect perfection.
Some times we parents get angry and yell at our kids when they get things wrong. This is when low self-esteem starts growing in them, and they tend not to listen to you as well as they are not interested in taking responsibilities. Let them do however, they can do the assigned task, don’t expect perfection. They can also make your home or kitchen messy while doing certain things. But we want our kids to learn things, learning is much more important than cleaning the mess later.
Reinforce good habits
When you see them doing their job, try to praise and reinforce that habit. Praising can motivate them to keep doing it regularly, and this is how you can assign more responsibilities to them.
Moving from being dependent to independent is a process. And it should start at home where parents are the teachers and trainers to train their child to be independent. It is important that we train our children to be independent and discover themselves as to what they are through their own eyes, not through others judgement.